Hi all, it’s been a little while, hasn’t it? I stopped writing and photographing a bit over a month ago when I got ill with a nasty cold that took me forever to get over from. And because I had no backup content, there was nothing for me to post here, and I also had no motivation to create any kind of content at all – not to this platform or any other.
As a creature of routines, I felt completely lost and unmotivated after a week of lying in bed and not doing anything at all. Unfortunately quite often a physical illness for me can lead into a bad spout of mental illness too – my depression often rears its ugly head when I’ve been left to my own devices for too long and completely stripped of my daily habits and routines.
So, it’s taken me about a month and a half to manage to create anything – I stopped being interested in things I usually find enjoyable like planning and creating these blog posts as well as photography (which is usually the part that I feel most passionately about!). Feeling passive and unmotivated about things you used to enjoy so much can feel so isolating – it makes you think ‘who am I really without all these things that used to form such a big part of my identity’?
My solution was to hide from the feelings and basically just ignore everything – I watched too many TV shows and immersed myself way too deeply in the lives of fictional characters so that I wouldn’t have to think about my own life.
The last few weeks feel pretty foggy and dark – even though it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year and all. However, I’ve decided I don’t want to feel that way anymore and have taken baby steps to get back to my own self – first of which was booking an introductory appointment with a therapist. Granted, the first appointment available was in mid-February, but still. Baby. Steps!
Just writing this post has made me feel a bit more like myself, word by word, so I’m definitely determined to get back into this little hobby of mine. Blogging helps me get creative and improve my skills in writing and photography and I’m sure also works as a wonderful form of therapy. When I’m editing photos I really need to sit down for a longer time and just focus on the task at hand which can have a very peaceful effect!
I intend to focus even more heavily on food and restaurant reviews but also document my life in Brighton and the things I get up to here a bit more. I’d like my passion for discovering new places in my city as well as in places I travel to really show, and I’d like the blog to be a useful resource for those who stumble upon it. That’s why I’m also intending on making everything a bit easier to navigate – I want everything to be really easy to find so I’m hoping to find a way to make the categories a bit clearer and the layout a bit snazzier.
Most of all, though, I really want to engage more. There’s such a lovely community in the blogosphere, but due to my introvert-ness I often find myself shying away from really connecting with people. I wish I found it easier online than in real life, but there doesn’t seem to be a big difference. This is probably something that will require a lot of my attention and efforts, too – maybe dedicating an hour or so everyday just connecting with others and really trying to feel part of the community? Fingers crossed!
These are just few of the things I’m thinking about and I’m really hoping to properly get my mojo back soon! It all still feels a bit shaky but I’m determined to get back into creating content and enjoying other’s work too.
What are your career/hobby goals for 2019? I’d love to hear about them!